There are so many self-love guides out there that I decided this post will NOT be yet another one. Instead I would like to highlight the transformation from self-acceptance to self-love. Because in my opinion, self-love isn’t a state but a process. And you can’t ask somebody with insecurities to “just love yourself” and “be who you are” – that’s not how it works.
Self-acceptance is the very first step to build a happier relationship with yourself. That’s how it works with new people in our lives as well, right? First, you get to know each other (accept their presence, personality and opinions) and eventually – step by step – you start building a stronger foundation and relationship. And that’s exactly what happens when you start accepting/loving yourself. You actually don’t even need to learn any new skills – it’s all there already! Sounds a little less of an intimidating project now, doesn’t it?
So, from my experience I would start with seeing yourself as a completely new person. As if you hadn’t known yourself before. That might sound a little drastic, but it enhances the effect. And since you’re interested in getting to really know this person (yes, you are) – start with:
- Asking yourself questions (all sorts of, figure out your point of view on things)
- Evaluate the things that matter to you (what’s currently most important to me?)
- Actively think about what you like or dislike
- Think about makes you happy
- Try to figure out what makes you different/special from others
These are the most important (for a start). And this doesn’t mean that you need to have yourself figured out by the end of the afternoon – it’ll naturally take far longer than that (you probably won’t be done by 70y either). But every bit you get to know yourself better, makes a difference already! Because the better you understand a friend the better you can react and act accordingly, right? It’s that easy.
And of course, there is another very important aspect to it: You wouldn’t intentionally want to hurt your friend, would you? Because people we like, we usually want to be happy and sometimes even shield from all things bad in the world. Now, apply the same mindset to your new friend – yourself. Be your own best friend! As soon as you start to cherish this fact and make use of it – you’ll wake up to the immense possibilities you have. This might be a little overwhelming at first. But as soon as the two of you start pushing open the door holding you back – several others will open a little simultaneously (your next goals). You’ll be the best team you can wish for!
And you know what? While all those things are shifting, you’re changing your mindset and experience new possibilities – you’ll automatically make the transition from self-acceptance to self-love. It’s a smooth one. And it doesn’t require a miracle. Only you.
I hope this post is encouraging you to come out of your shell, find yourself and make the most of your talents and personality. Life is too short, not to do so! And you’re stronger than you think. So, let me know about your experiences via email or leave a comment below!